The Two wolves within us - Which One Do We Feed? Four Simple Ways To Control Anger
One represents fear, anger, and negativity; the other embodies love, compassion, and kindness.
CULTURE&LIFE
We go through emotions in our lives going through the ups and downs, leaving us drained or elated. We feel drained, tired, and upset if we are not careful.
The Two Wolves Within
After dinner, one night, a father sat by the fire with his child, looking up at the stars. The child looked up and asked, “Father, why do we sometimes feel hurt?
The father smiled. "Child, within each of us exists two wolves. They are not ordinary wolves; they represent parts of our lives. Feelings that shape our thoughts, emotions, and actions. The boy leans forward, curious. “Wolves, Dad? What kind?
The first wolf is Fear. It prowls in the shadows, whispering doubts, anxiety, and negativity. It feeds on anger, envy, and resentment. It thrives on darkness, for it fears the light. The boy shivers. “And the other wolf?”
The second wolf is Love. It stands tall, its fur radiant with compassion, kindness, and empathy. It howls with joy when we connect with others, share, forgive, and bond.
The child listened intently, eyes wide, and asked, “Which wolf wins?”. He leaned closer, “The one you feed".
And so it is, my dear one. Every day, we choose which wolf to nourish. Our thoughts, our words, our deeds—they determine which wolf grows stronger! If we feed Fear, it will consume us. If we feed Love, it will guide us toward wisdom and peace within us"
The child pondered this, and the fire crackled in the silence.
“Remember,” the father whispered, “the battle isn’t between the wolves; it’s within us. Feed the wolf of Love, and it will lead us to happiness.”
And so, around the fire, the ancient wisdom continued to flicker—a flame passed down through generations, illuminating the path toward happiness.
4 Simple Ways To Control Anger That Can Be Done Anywhere
1. Count Down (or Up) & take a breather
When anger brews, count down (or up) to 10. If anger engulfs you, start at 100. As you count, your heart rate will slow, and anger will likely retreat like a tide. It gives more time to think clearly and overcome the impulse to lash out. Take yourself away from people and move away. Working on the count's will help subdue our usual reaction and buy us time. Time to effectively think through and respond in a considered way. Breathe slowly and deeply. Inhale through your nose; exhale tension through your mouth. Repeat until calm settles. It will help you pause, stop what you are doing for a short time and gather yourself. It's a good idea not to talk or respond as well.
2. Walk Around & relax your muscles
Movement soothes nerves. Walk, ride the bike, or swing your arms. Anything that gets our limbs pumping is good for our mind and body. Breathing, Counting and moving around all done together is pretty effective in releasing stress. In addition, we should practice progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and then slowly release various muscle groups—one at a time. As you do, take deliberate breaths. Try out neck rolls and shoulder rolls—gentle yoga-like movements. They help control our bodies and harness our emotions.
3. Repeat a Comfortable Phrase or think of your favorite tune.
Find a word or phrase that calms you. Repeat it. “Relax,” “Take it easy,” or “You’ll be OK”. These phrases or words work wonders. They need to be backed up by ourselves, that is, our commitment to uttering the words and lending credence to them.
Music helps. Hum your favorite tune discreetly & sashay your anger away. Discreetness is the key, since we may be seen in a different light, as a person, who cares less and is not attuned to the situation. :-) So, yes, use it, play it in your mind, and avoid the appearance of grooving. It's amazing if it's carried out quietly and is quite shockingly good.
4. Take a brief timeout
Think through the events. Determine why the negative argument or emotion started. Trace it back. Close your eyes and check what could have been done differently, not just by you, but by others as well. Process events. Thinking will return emotions to neutral. Do remember, @ the very least, such an action, will help you tactically handle the situation well and come up with an appropriate response that can be followed up later.
Well, if you like write in Your Journal afterwards
What you can’t say, perhaps you can write. Jot down feelings and responses. It's an effective way to connect with our inner selves and express ourselves. It's beneficial for anxiety. But then, this is not an activity that can be done in a situation, it's a post-situational. Some people like writing things down, while others like thinking it through. Others, love to discuss with a person whom they respect. It does not matter how. It's the thing to be done. It's what helps us. Help us better ourselves.
Well, the story itself is a supposition that nonetheless is true. May you, too, choose to feed the wolf of Love, my friend.